Damn..i didnt do any freaking thing throughout the whole competition, except to give the ball to the opponents a number of times. why cant i play like the past. like when i was in the c'div. cutting, shooting, passing, fulfilling my full potential, doing every damn thing a good player should. man, i really screwed big time. i feel so guilty, so guilty for not giving my all. i didnt even do a single shit la.eff. i disobeyed my doctor's orders and went in wayyyy too early. and all for naught.
he told me to go for the next competition. but there isnt any. i just had to go for this one. he tried persuading me not to go, on the basis that i may not be able to walk properly again, maybe walk with a limp for the remaining years of my life if anything did happen to my ankle. i kept this from everyone. including my parents, my coach and teammates, everyone. but since it's all over, there's no point in keeping mum anymore.
there's no way i was gonna miss this last chance to play for hwachong. but what for. i didnt make any contributions to the team. i went in and made things more confusing, more complicated, screwing up plays, being a sotong who's playing ball for the first time in his life. eff. eff the shit man.
i couldnt cut in. i shot airballs. i couldnt jump. i couldnt run. i couldnt stick to my man for fear of injuring that bloody damn ankle once again. seriously, screw that ankle. it's given me nothing but hell for the past 2 years. damn. DAMN.
i may say there's one last match for us to play. i may comfort all you guys and give encouraging words. i may seem optimistic and all. but deep inside, i'm smarting. real bad.
it bloody hurts to see myself cast in my own shadow.
Mark.Kng#9