Regrets:
These past few days have really been days when i feel so mature. and old. -.- i've been pondering over lotsa things. First of all, there's that "how to use syllabear" shit. i actually spend time thinking of how to best utilise his skills. can you believe it?! ok enough bout that. i'll spare the actual details. ( From left: Judy and her kids Darren and Dion =D the one behind's my cousin FELICIA, provider of this photograph ) ( WE'RE ALL COUSINS! Except for my twin beside me :D )
On behalf of Yeujinq:
Damn..i didnt do any freaking thing throughout the whole competition, except to give the ball to the opponents a number of times. why cant i play like the past. like when i was in the c'div. cutting, shooting, passing, fulfilling my full potential, doing every damn thing a good player should. man, i really screwed big time. i feel so guilty, so guilty for not giving my all. i didnt even do a single shit la.eff. i disobeyed my doctor's orders and went in wayyyy too early. and all for naught.
I dont get it. Why do i always do badly for tough tests. Ok stupid question. I always fail them. But for much simpler ones, i dont get As. I get Bs. Am i destined to never get any As. I dont know why i always get my hopes up so damn high, only for them to get dashed. Oh well. At least i passed both sciences =/
Sometimes, i really wonder whether i'll have any regrets when i'm on death's bed. Since i know death is imminent, will i lament lost friends? Will i have done things differently? Will i be consumed with sad thoughts of all that i had missed? Will i regret the secrets i kept hidden?
The culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things. Career, family, having enough money, getting a new car, a new house - we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep our worlds spinning. But are they really making your life better? Are they making you better as a person? Or perhaps you're doing something that's of great significance to the next guy. We never think of these things until we're almost down to our last breath. People often say, you do the most in-depth thinking when you're half dead. Nahh. That's what i often say =/ but it's true what.
When you spend too much time regretting having done this, regretting not having done that, you DO realise you're just eating your life away. For each "OHMYGOD. I MADE A CARELESS MISTAKE. I SHOULD BE GETTING BLAH BLAH INSTEAD OF BLAH BLAH BLAH.", you waste approximately 13 seconds of your life. As if life isn't short enough as it is.
Mark.Kng#9
Friday, February 23
But on a serious note, i've been thinking about what i'm gonna do now that the competition's over. i feel like a heavy load's just been lifted off my back. I FEEL SO FREEEEE. no wait, i AM that free. darn. the past 3 years i've been whiling my time away playing ball. i feel so lost, not knowing what to do besides playing ball. i think it's time to put my studies back in order. how better to do so than to spam homework. i've decided to actually DO my homework, instead of REFERRING :D and i'm gonna revise whatever stuff i missed out the whole of last year (e.g chem and physics. i daydream in class. one A2, one C6 and 6 F9s. you know what i mean >< )
hmm. and my ball team. man if i'm given a choice, there won't be any choice. you're my number one. just thinking bout the time we've spent together over 3 years, it really makes me choke =( we've had our fair share of problems and squabbles, but we've never failed to reconcile. that's what makes us all great pals, on or off the court. 12 boys. no, 12 men. =)
CNY
( Twins and one godsis =x)
Happy Lunar New Year all!
Mark.Kng#9
Wednesday, February 14
what i want to say is..im really proud of you guys..really really really really really really..this cld go on bt i'd rather stop now.ok..we sucked..we played totally totally sucky bball that is nt worthy of hwachong.bt what made me happy was that..i think the least we did was play like champions with sportsmanship.we might not hav played out the best game ever.but i think we played with sportsmanship.at least for myself.i can say.that i sucked in skill and blah blah blah blah.bt when i went on i really jus wanted to play and play clean.more imptly i wanted to win! that foul i drew.the free throws i shot.everything..and for you guys..i know the game today might nt hav been the best..with nanhua fans shouting and stuff..huh? with them shouting and cheering when qiming fouled out i know that wasnt good..bt when i looked into ur eyes..i could tell that everyone of you EVERYONE of you wanted to win badly.
i hope you all could contribute to this...by maybe each saying one sentence that u want to say..and tell markus to post it.for me.i got lots to say.first thing.the first time i ever went to clementi.the match i watched was a semis match i think..national semis.so...that really inspired me..sitting on those steps.watching the ball go.whistles blown blah.den sec 2 came.the team was formed officially.all of us.initially from different ccas.all brought together.joining the MOST DIFFICULT to join cca in sch.basketball.what made us go there??its the love for the game.not jus playing arnd for leisure.but the thirst for wins and glory for the sch..something jus bonded us together.within 6 months of training with coach..we made the first record for hci in a long long time.no nationals then bt..ahhaha.we were sad abt the loss and all bt we took it calmly..cos still got 2 years.from there i sort of developed a bond with the stadium.the courts.the toilets.and everything..we've been there so many times.sweat.blood.wins.losses.everything was done there.and this year..its our last year..or at least for the most of us.
when we lost against nanhua jus now..i didnt feel like crying.becos i know.it wasnt right to cry when u lost.bt then i began to realise..that match.might be the second last match we ever played on that court in that hall with our teammates.and i really really really want to say.i love you guys!! valentines day today.we were all playing in clementi.trying our best to show the world what we were..bt we screwed up.jus like we always do..we always thought..our batch is the miracle batch la.we can do anything..yet today we lost to a team...that if we played well we could hav won..no use crying over spilt milk seriously.we lost.i cried..cried nt becos i didnt put in effort and i regretted..i cried because i knew that you could not go back in time.i cried becos i didnt think we would lose..i cried because i know we all put in SO SO SO much for this dream..for the glory.and yet...we lost out..okok..maybe all is not lost..bt den the hope now is probably near zero..the empty promises we made.and blah.nvm..i really really love this team and my teammates..every every single one of you.we trained together through rain and shine and whatever.and although ive said it a million times..i am Really really really really really proud of you! if i had to choose a team to play with once again..i'll choose you guys 1 million times over..however.due to the constrictions i dont think that is possible.bt bt bt.i really mean it.i'll choose you time and time again.
for the fans that turned up today.the volleyballers..jason.jihao.kaiyuan.eechu's friends.the juniors.bert.blah.all of you.the teachers.EVERYONE that came and cheered us on.you are appreciated..ALOT ALOT ALOT.you might nt hav been louder than nanhua.bt in our hearts..i know what yall meant for us..i know you came to see a hwachong..nt only a hwachong that wins..bt a hwachong that plays like champions.sportsmanship..the determination.i can tell you all now.we NEVER GAVE UP..nt at the last 10 seconds..nt anytime in the game did we ever give up.the only time we resigned to the loss was when the final whistle went.for that.i think it was worth for u wasnt it? it was worth turning up wasnt it?? a round of applause for hwachong.3 cheers for hwachong.
jason said this to me:i came here nt to see a hwachong that wins.bt a hwachong that never gives up..and i do not regret coming today.
coach trained us..since sec 2.from a bunch of bball morons.we became a team! a team that played like a team.we trained with him.he came.even when he was busy.even if his pay was low.even when he cld hav been doing something more productive den teaching a bunch of kids.he came..he came and trained us..never gave up.sponsored us for things the sch didnt wan to play..he gave us his trust and everything.and yet we repaid him with no nationals.to this.i hav to say dui bu qi jiao lian.but i think this isnt the right thing to say.although its what i WANT to say..what coach wants is nt our sorry..bt us playing our best to show others what kind of coach he is.for this i think we didnt do him too much shame..bt i think.we really seldom say thanks to coach..we say thanks to opponent coach nvr say to our own coach.now i say.xie xie jiao lian! you are the best best best coach ever.you not only improved our skills..bt u changed the way we behaved as ppl..u changed us from boys.to men..so? what do u think? should we do our best for the last game??? SHOW THEM WHAT OUR COACH IS! A COACH THAT NEVER EVER EVER GIVES UP ON HIS PLAYERS..he taught us so many values man..ok.XIE XIE JIAO LIAN!
as i said..it might be the last time we play tgt.bt i wan to say thanks to everyone.
4.edmund.you might be moody at times.bt i think i trust u alot alot alot alot alot..ur dribbling and passing and everything.
5.qiming.what can i say? rock on man..
6.dy.ur still young..u still hav a long long long way to go.all the best.
7.zhoukai...i really really dont know what to say bt..you are a very good player.trust urself even more.u can do it.
8.daniel.omg.daniel.u never ever fail to make us feel that nth is over.u got that drive abt you u know? always chionging.i can say that u are spirit core of our team.
9.markus.lol.rocker capt.hahahaha.so what if ur ankles are shit?? OH MAN SHOW THE WORLD.
10.hongsheng.eh..you are my.....first friend on the team i think hahahaah..really.u shld eat more.continue playing well like this ok??
11.sze han.classmates yeah.we went through alot of trouble tgt..bt you are always so heck abt it.3 pt shooter..show us some attitude man.
12.eric.its time u trusted urself.really.u know how fast u run or nt? i can tell u FREAKING FAST.go run some breaks.and shoot some nice shots.
13.zhenrui.aiyo.2 words la.steady cow! i see you.ping ping ping all the time nvr ever say die one.rebound ping.everything ping.off the court always crap so much ahahahah..damn funny.YEAH..
14.as for me.i jus wan to say.i love myself man.just the way i am.
15.eechu...eechu.u are the....last guy on our batch to join the team.last one.our batch..and yet.u progressed so much from someone who uses his head to play bball.to someone who is of the same standard as all of us..in the shortest of time.i am soooooooo proud of you eechu.jus stop being moody sometimes.gogogo!!to the rest of bball..you guys rite..aw.the best bball team we can ever get ok? rock on.
u put this 12 men and their coach and their teachers in charge..u get team hwachong..some team.that nvr gives up.we might nt hav made it to nationals tgt..BUT BUT BUT..wait..we hav a chance..bt our chance depends on how boon lay plays so it is more like having faith in them isnt it? ok so whatever..we might nt hav went nationals tgt..bt this will be the best memory of sec sch life EVER EVER EVER..ooh.we spent our valentines day together.isnt that reallyy really cool?? mm i got alot of things to say bt abit long le ah..hahahah..HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL OF YOU..DONT GO CHEATING ON GIRLS OK?? CHEER UP..GET READY UR TEARS WE CRY AS A TEAM ON BOON LAY MATCH REGARDLESS OF IN OR OUT OK????!?!?! and dont forget our man jiang hong ok?? ok for now giv a smile..GIVE ME A SMILE GUYS!! aww..i see your red eyes jus like mine.come on giv a smile.
okokok as i said..if yall got anything to say jus say ok.when something ends what do we do as a team..we gather arnd and do what..hua zhong on 3 ah..OK?? on 3 ah..1...2....3
HUAZHONG!!!
Mark.Kng#9
he told me to go for the next competition. but there isnt any. i just had to go for this one. he tried persuading me not to go, on the basis that i may not be able to walk properly again, maybe walk with a limp for the remaining years of my life if anything did happen to my ankle. i kept this from everyone. including my parents, my coach and teammates, everyone. but since it's all over, there's no point in keeping mum anymore.
there's no way i was gonna miss this last chance to play for hwachong. but what for. i didnt make any contributions to the team. i went in and made things more confusing, more complicated, screwing up plays, being a sotong who's playing ball for the first time in his life. eff. eff the shit man.
i couldnt cut in. i shot airballs. i couldnt jump. i couldnt run. i couldnt stick to my man for fear of injuring that bloody damn ankle once again. seriously, screw that ankle. it's given me nothing but hell for the past 2 years. damn. DAMN.
i may say there's one last match for us to play. i may comfort all you guys and give encouraging words. i may seem optimistic and all. but deep inside, i'm smarting. real bad.
it bloody hurts to see myself cast in my own shadow.
Mark.Kng#9
Tuesday, February 13
Tomorrow's gonna be one hell of a day. Tomorrow's the day we decide our own fate. After the previous defeat, everyone's feeling so damn desponded. Why? Why cant we encourage ourselves. Come on guys. I know why we feel so disappointed. We all felt that we had a good chance of winning BP. But the ball is round. Nothing's predictable. Besides, BP's no ordinary whipping team. They've been in the nationals the past few years. They've much more experience then us when it goes right down to the wire. Let's give ourselves some credit for not giving up and reducing the deficit to a mere 2 points.
So let's pick ourselves up and win the remaining fixtures. It's not like we've no more chance of getting to the nats. We still have, and that's only if we win the next 2 games. So let's do it, show our mettle, and shut all those damn know-it-all critics up.
Mark.Kng#9